I was listening to a dating advice podcast today and I honestly could not believe what I was hearing. A guy called in to get some dating advice about how he was always getting stuck in the friend zone with women, and the response that he got from the ‘expert’ would be funny if it were not for the fact that this guy is probably going to take this advice to heart and think it is the ANSWER when it really is the PROBLEM.

Here’s the scenario:

Guy can’t seem to help but to end up in the friend zone with every woman he dates. He takes them to dinner and a movie and then they end up wanting to just be friends. Oh, I should mention that the dating advice expert was a woman, because, well it illustrates something that most guys don’t realize.

Back to the story, though. Anyways, the advice that he got was that the women he is dating must be immature and that he should go and find some more mature women to date. And then she said something to the effect that he had 10 years to prepare to become a good husband for a woman.

Why is that advice, which ‘sounds’ good and is given by a woman to a guy dead wrong?

Because this guy is acting in a way that causes women to see him just as a friend, and trying to move on to more ‘mature’ women is just going to get him more mature female friends and not girlfriends. And if you did not catch it, the woman giving him the advice was setting him up to be ‘trained’ to be a good husband.

Look, if you are getting stuck in the dreaded friend zone with women you would like to date, the answer is not in moving on to other groups of women or going to meet more women. All that is going to do is get you more female friends and what you really want is a girlfriend.

And if you follow advice that trains you to be the perfect husband, you are going to be the guy that holds his wife’s purse and gives her free reign over the credit cards and th checking account. That’s not to say you should not want to get married, it’s just to say that some of the advice that women dish to guys is more to train them to be the way that they want them to be, and not to have a healthy and equal relationship.

So, how do you get out of the friend zone with a woman?

1) You have to act like a guy who wants to be her boyfriend and not her best friend.

2) You also have to realize that doing the dinner and a movie date is not a guaranteed way to get a girlfriend, most of the time… it ends up with being just a friend.

3) You don’t have to change who you pursue as a girlfriend, you have to change the *way* that you pursue them.

Number 3 is the biggest shift that you have to make if you want to end up with a girlfriend and not just another female friend. I know, they tell you that you need to be Mr. Romance, and that the dinner and a movie thing is the key to it all, but think about how many times that strategy does NOT work out.

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Copyright © 2011 Chris Tyler All Rights Reserved.